Food for Thought

So there's a lot of different things running through my head tonight.

Today was definitely the worst day I've had in a really long time.

Today, we were thrown a major curveball in our life.

We knew it was a possibility that it would happen but now it's a reality.

And it really sucks.

Pretty much our entire vision for our future and the future of our family has been shattered to pieces.

We have no idea where we're heading in life or what our plan of action is.

Now for those of you who know me, you know that I don't handle situations like this very well.

At all.

I'm the type of person who needs to have solid plans and know what's coming and know what to expect.

Well as of today all of the above are a complete mystery.

So at first the only thing we kept asking ourselves was why?

Why us? Why now? Why this way?

Why? Why? Why?!

And of course we didn't have any answers and we still don't.

And I doubt we ever will.

 So after a good, long, hard cry (on my part), and asking more "why" questions,

and receiving some much needed advice from a few people,

Travis and I sat down and talked things through a little bit more clearly.

Well after many long hours of thinking and resolving today I've come to a few conclusions of my own.

First, everything happens for a reason.

(I definitely needed to be reminded of this by several people many, many times...)

It really sucks not knowing why they happen but I know that this thing happened for a specific reason.

Hopefully one day we'll find out what that reason is.

Second, sometimes what we want and what Heavenly Father wants for us is different.

Wouldn't life be so much easier and pleasant if those things were always the same?

But they aren't.

So now we find ourselves reevaluating what we thought we wanted.

We're trying to look at this as there must be something else out there waiting for us.

Third, we've done all that we were suppose to do to make what we wanted happen.

We've done all that we can do and now it really is all up to the Lord.

We had done our part.

So now is the time for us to turn to our Heavenly Father and put our trust in Him.

I know that He will never lead us astray and that what He has in store for us is

so much better than what we wanted for ourselves.

Phew, it feels really good to get these things out of my head and off my chest.

We just need to keep reminding ourselves of these things for the next little while until things begin to fall into place once again for us and our family.

It might be a long road ahead for us but I know that we'll be able to do this together and all will be well.